Hello Fear!!!

Good Morning Gentlemen, It’s been a while since I’ve posted something to this blog. However, Let me tell you about CD that I had the opportunity to listen to

I’ve never been a Kirk Franklin fan per-se.. I’ve enjoyed a few songs that he’s made over the years, but a fan… Naaahh…  I did have a opportunity to listen to his latest CD titled Hello Fear released on 03.22.2011…

The CD has a number of good tracks, but, the song “hello fear” is the one that moved me.. You see, all of us at some time have been paralyzed by fear. Some of us have overcome that fear, some of us are still paralyzed by it.

Growing up my biggest insecurity or fear was acceptance. Being multi-racial I’ve always identified myself as a black man. However, to my peers I wasn’t black enough as defined by their very narrow understanding of what black was… The issue persist today among dark skin black folk who feel some sense of racial purity as though they’re the gate keepers for everything black? Clearly they do not understand that the African diaspora covers the globe…. Or that less than 10% of African slaves made it to America…  To my latino peers, much of their identity is based on language and because I’m not fluent in Spanish I sat on the outside there as well..  also odd because I cook Spanish food better than some of the so called “pure bloods” there??

To compensate, I played sports through junior high and high school.. Sports are the universal uniter. Everyone cheers for the high school football team, basketball, & baseball team, etc…  Yet when I finally found my place in the world, my family moved and I had to start all over again. I remember the first day In my new school having a group of five percenter’s approach me about eating a ham and cheese sandwich… Then they proceeded to try to teach me todays mathematics … how do you say uncomfortable

When I finally became comfortable, high school was over…. Nevertheless, that quest for and fear of not being accepted persisted. My inherent nature is to be introverted, thus the fear of stepping out on the ledge to make new friends or meet people paralyzed me..  I do take my time in discerning people’s character. As such, I may come off as not being the most open or friendly person. The dichotomy is that loyalty means everything to me and I’m loyal to those in my circle.

Needless to say , whatever your fear.. whatever that thing is that keeps you paralyzed, immobile or freezes you where you stand.. Take a risk.. do something that you’ve never done before. The rewards always seem to outweigh the risk..

When I got to the point in life when I realized that I really had nothing to lose, I gained more confidence in doing things that were outside of my comfort zone. Having the ability to turn and face my fear was the greatest achievement in my own personal growth..

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

Get over your fear Gentlemen

God Bless
Editor - DNYC

Control+Alternate+Delete

Good Day Gentlemen, Today I want to discuss the re-set of life .... the Alt+Ctl+Del if you will..

First let me say I love the African Diaspora, We are a rich culture and heritage that spans the globe. Our cultural contributions are enumerable in fashion, music, politics, education, science, and mathematics. We seem to have achieved in spite of what others have projected on us.. Call it prejudice, racism, hate, bias, on every level from institutional to social..

However, As great as we are as a people… we are susceptible to the same ideology and group thought, group speak, and herd mentality as others... we decry most what we loathe in ourselves....

Take the tea party.. we assume that they’re all the same b/c they seem to speak in one voice. Their issues are projected to the world as the United States most vital issues. Then they proceed to vote against their interest for politicians who pander to their base instinct and primal need.. Those who they vote for intend on bringing NO jobs to them, Have no intention of making the quality of their lives better... Yet they vote for people who pray on their angst towards others who they feel are “taking over the country” so they create bumper sticker slogans that they’re going to “take the country back”…. From whom???

African Americans do the same thing.. We cheer for the Michael Vicks , Allen Iverson and others who project this thug/hoodlum mentality because they play for our favorite sports team, or because they’re the newly christened savior of the team.. We give them 2nd….3rd… and 4th chances, never really holding them accountable for their actions or the crimes they commit…. YET, the neighborhood dope boy doesn’t get extended that same grace… The rapist doesn’t get a 2nd.. 3rd… or 4th chance… Criminality is Criminality, you cannot justify or rationalize it any other way..

We need a Re-SET… an Alt+CTL+DEL….

We need an ALTERNATE way of thinking. Our thought process has to be challenged, and the herd mentality must be rejected. If you think like a slave on the plantation then you will eventually be a slave on the plantation…. Freedom was an abstract concept for those born into slavery, until someone thought alternately and wanted to run away… Our legacy is filled with the Hatian slave revolt, to Nat Turner, to Malcolm X and the Black Panther Party… Revolutionaries who thought outside of the social paradigm..

We need CONTROL… we need to control our way of thinking, if everyone in your circle thinks the same way you do, and you’re not progressing as a group… it’s time to change your friends. When you sit around griping about gas prices and career stagnation it’s because (among other things) you’re allowing the group to think for you. Many will say, I’m not buying into the peer pressure, but your actions say otherwise…  you vote the same… you go to the same clubs… you enjoy the same movies... shop at the same stores... and live in the same neighborhoods..??? The group is controlling you, you just don’t know it..

We need to DELETE old paradigms that keep us trapped in poverty. One of the biggest social problems that affect the African American community is group thought.  We see urban centers where teachers aren’t valued b/c we don’t value education, Black Colleges and universities have NEVER consistently had alumni financial support. We know every song on Kanye, Wayne, or Diddy/Dirty money CD but our kids don’t know a math equation… Homosexuality is running rampant, women are turning other women out… perhaps due to the lack of available men…. Men are leaving prison and bringing the gay thug lifestyle back to their communities… Our sons have adopted criminality as cool, OR have become male emulations of their mothers… and our daughters have become prostitutes for a purse or a pair of shoes... OR... have rejected men, adopted a gay lifestyle... all because of the hurt inflicted by the father who wasn't there....  HIV/Aids infects more African Americans than any other group…. STOP!!!! PLEASE STOP…. Delete this paradigm… we didn’t have this foolishness 30yrs ago..

It seems that even when we know that God is the only one who can save us, we reject God… I had a conversation in the last few days about people who don’t go to church.. Inherently, I had people rationalizing THEIR CHOICES.. instead of owning the fact that they don’t go b/c someone in the church hurt them and that they don’t want to go…. Don’t be mad at God… People did that to you…and YOU made that choice not to seek God... YOU sought peoples approval... and that's the problem

In the end Gentlemen we need an Alt+Ctl+Del of our entire social paradigm. We need to change the way we think… the way we comport ourselves… and the negative actions that affect others.. We can no longer be the infection that makes our community sick.. and we can no longer stand by and be hypocritical allowing one thing from some, while decrying it in others..

Gentlemen, we must do better.. and it begins with you..

Editor

Holy Week 2011

Gentlemen, This week is holy week, Beginning with Palm Sunday and ending with Resurrection Sunday. I refuse to use the term Easter because the term and the holiday are both pagan in its origins.

Nevertheless, Little over  2011yrs ago Christ entered Jerusalem with the cheers of the crowd.. The Sanhedrin made up of Pharisees and Sadducees were threatened by this. There was a paradigm very much like today where those in power sought to maintain power. They were so bound by the law or the word of God, they couldn’t see the spirit of the law or the man who exemplified that law.

I am a Christian, A disciple of Jesus Christ, Son of God… Many do not believe this to be the case and I respect and honor all religious faiths around the world. Christ said himself,  John 10:16 (NIV)   I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”… It would be presumptuous and a bit arrogant to believe that only Christians will enter heaven… Christ will make a way for all humanity..

Gentlemen, this week being holy week, perhaps you all should take a moment to reflect on your lives.. I’m not here to castigate or criticize… nor am I here to beat you over the head with scripture… I do want each man to examine himself. Search your soul and determine if the life you’re living is made better or worse by the decisions you’ve made

Fifteen years ago, I made a decision to walk a journey with God that has proven to be fruitful and at times arduous…. I’ve asked for strength and the Lord took me through trial and test to give me a testimony…. I asked for protection and he allows me to rest in his arms… I asked for guidance and he extended his hand.. Scripture says “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matt 7:13-14 (niv)…. Fifteen years ago, I decided to walk through the narrow gate and continue that walk today..

I stand here today not because of me… but because of HE…. I AM the son of the great I AM…. I don’t let anyone define me, nor am I beholden to anyone… I know who I am, and who's I am...

It becomes kind of obvious…. Those who rely on self because they  don’t think that God is Jehovah Jireh  (provider of all their needs)… They allow the facts to dictate their faith, they do not trust God. You've heard them griping about fuel prices, unemployment or the economy... they've placed their treasures on earth, not on things eternal.... Contrast, Those who rely on God to sustain them are sustained by the God who honors worship… blesses faithfulness, and desires his people to seek his face… Those who trust God for their needs, need nothing.... The prayers of the righteous availeth much in the lord.... Who are you praying to... who are you trusting... you are you believing to make things right.... There's only one who loves you... He sent his son to die on a cross for you, why do you reject him...

I had a friend say to me a year or so ago that God’s favor is on your life. Such statements humble me… My walk requires me to seek Gods face… My walk requires me to live for his approval… I’m blessed not because of who I AM, but because of who I worship

2011yrs ago the Son of God hung on a cross and poured out his blood to wash away my sin.. I cannot nor will not say that I’m perfect, but my goal in life is to face my judgment with my Heavenly father saying “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness”… Matt 25:23 (NIV)

Gentlemen, each one of you will have different challenges, trials, and tribulations.. But when you decide to make a walk with God, he will provide for you, sustain you, humble you and bless you…

In the end, I’m grateful for the sacrifice on the cross.. I walk this walk because one man who was blameless sacrificed all for me to live...... That's real..

So I live… God Bless you

Namaste - Editor

What do you value??

Gentlemen,  I wish to take a moment to talk to you about what you value, what you hold near and dear, what you think is important…

Matt 6:19-21 (NIV) -  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”

So, What do you treasure.. Let me be first to say I love my life… I’ve been blessed to have three children, an modest yet comfortable home, My career is going well as is my personal life.

However, what I value, what I treasure… is my relationship with GOD first. I spend a great deal of time humbling myself to the lord thanking him for his blessings and for keeping me with a roof over my head, food in my pantry, and clothing on my back… I treasure the lives of my children and those I love as well as those who love me…. I made a commitment some time back to take one weekend a month to focus on what I value as being sacred, the anomaly is that it's so valuable that it's priceless..

I appreciate friends, but I know that friends are flighty.. and that everyone in your circle isn’t necessarily considering your best interest.. I keep a very tight circle of friends, those I can rely on and those who can rely on me… I’m somewhat unique in that I actually either know or have met 90% of my facebook friends.

What I also value is my time… I'm quick to tell my friends and enemies alike "don't wear your watch around me, because I take time". If I value you, I will carve out time for you and not rush through to the next thing...… Conversely I loathe having my time wasted. As a business person and an entrepreneur, I realize that time is a commodity. I’m not giving away anything, nor am I a non profit… I don’t do things very often on “the hook up”… Time is my most precious commodity because I understand the value of time… Culture club said in a song “time wont give me time… and time makes lovers feel, like they got something real… but you and me both know they’ve got nothing but time!!!!”…. That is the point… we’ve got really nothing but time… so don’t waste mine..

I value quality.. some say I can be a little bourgeoisie, but I work hard and I believe that one should enjoy the fruits of their labor. This weekend I had the opportunity to spend some time at Chateau Elan Winery and Resort in North GA.

It was certainly an experience and I had a great time… The staff at the hotel from the time you walk in is ready to cater to your every need. I typically frequent the spa to get a deep tissue massage.. this is therapeutic for my body and it helps to work out the kinks in my shoulder following a motorcycle accident in 2008…

The meals are typically very good, I’ve eaten at the Versailles Restaurant, and Café Elan. The entire experience is top notch top to bottom..

I value quiet time, a good book on Sunday afternoon, the NY Times or Atlanta Constitution, an afternoon Baseball game… That quiet time helps me to restore my mind, refresh my spirit , and dig into my intellect. I do a great deal of reading and it has become very much a passion for me..  Quiet time for me believe it or not is also found in jumping on my motorcycle and burning up 2 or 3 tanks of gas… Riding is a freedom, a release… some play golf.. some bowl… some play tennis… I ride…. Sometimes at speed limit… other times at 100 plus miles per hour…. But riding is freedom….

Gentlemen, while this is my story.. I really want to encourage you to take time to assess what you value.. Place God first, then your family…. Then take time to prioritize what you think is valuable.. Give it adequate time to mature, then nurture it so that your family and your God will get a more whole you…

As men we have competing pressures vying for our time and attention… But if you don’t take the time to relax, release and refresh… what good are you to anyone…. Find what you value… and pursue that…

Special thank you to the staff at Chateau Elan Winery & Resort for a wonderful weekend...

Visit them at http://www.chateauelan.com

Namaste… Peace….
Editor - DNYC

Come and talk to me

Gentlemen, We’ve all heard at one time or another “we need to talk.”

Today I’m going to keep it real short and simple…. You were given two ears, and one mouth for a reason. So that you do twice as much listening as you do talking

Statistics show that women use 7000 words per day and men about 2000 words a day.. What that means is that when women (or your woman) says she wants to talk… what she’s really saying is she wants you to listen..

So, listen.. don’t say anything, don’t get offended, don’t allow her to push your emotional buttons, don’t get heated, don’t try to find solutions, don’t do anything but listen.

Unless you are asked a question directly, Say nothing and let her vent her frustration or elucidate what she’s feeling.. your role is to be a support system, a sounding board..

This may go against your nature as a problem solver or solution man… but that’s not what she’s asking for..

We always hear men telling women to STFU… Rarely do we as men understand that you can create peace in your home by just taking the time to listen. If you care, you will…  and it’s really that simple..

Flip side… Women, please.. I implore you, don’t hit your man with everyone else’s drama… The relationship is between you and him… Not you.. him.. your girl, her man , your co-workers… etc.. etc… etc……. He doesn’t care about your girlfriends drama with  her children… or her man problems… Unless it affect you directly, harms your emotional or professional growth, your co-workers issues and drama shouldn’t be brought into your relationship….

Bottom line, He’s not your girlfriend… don’t treat him as such… Have a girls night out and gossip… but even in that… keep your relationship w/ your man out of your conversation w/ your female friends…

The relationship between you and her , her and you should be sacred.. no one or nothing should come between you…. The choice is yours…  But if you choose to sabotage your relationship… That’s your choice…..

Communication is key to a healthy relationship…. Remember that

Namaste
EDITOR - DNYC

Why I Pray....

Gentlemen, I’ve lived a good life… had my share of ups and downs… good days, and bad ones.. I’ve shed a tear or two over my life… However, I live today with no regrets, no shame and I harbor no ill will towards anyone

Why….. Because I pray.  My grandmother told me years ago that the prayers of the righteous availeth much…. As a consequence, I seek Gods favor in everything I do and every decision I make.. I’m not perfect, but I strive for excellence... I seek approval from a merciful God.

I’ve learned to forgive those who’ve transgressed against me and forgive myself for the transgressions against others and sought forgiveness from those I've transgressed against.. As a man I have no issue conceding when I’m wrong or yielding to a higher authority.. I don’t compromise my integrity nor do I allow myself to get into a position where my integrity becomes suspect.

At Thirty years of age, I gave my life to God. I began a walk with God that has been fruitful, and at times presented me with some of the challenges of my life

I’ve learned that through thick and thin… to say Hallelujah anyway!!! I’ve learned that if you ask God for strength… He will take you through some things to exercise your faith and make you spiritually stronger..  If you ask God for wisdom, he’ll provide you with avenues and life experiences to make you wiser….  If you ask for a walk with him that you can feel, that he will touch your soul.. hold your hand.. and make it so real for you that nothing will compare.

There are so many superficial Christians in the world… people who say they believe in God, but have no fruit in their life to demonstrate they’re on a walk… They will cuss you out in a minute without realizing that every word from their mouth must be pleasing to God…

I’m no super righteous holy roller…I'm not saved, sanctified, and on my way to heaven in a rocket ship.... I certainly am not perfect… I have people who love me as well as those who curse the ground that I walk on… I do, however,  allow my life to be the example…

Why do I pray… because I know no other way…  I pray because God has shown me things about my life… I pray because God has saved me from some situations and trifling people who were out to do me wrong… I pray because the blood that was shed 2000 or so years ago redeemed me in Gods eye

I seek Gods favor in everything that I do… Every thought in my mind, Every word from my mouth, Every word typed I ask for God to intervene so that my words, thoughts and actions are pleasing to him

A year ago, someone told me I have a juvenile soul… untainted by the world or the hurt of my past…. I’m grateful for what God has done for me.. I’m grateful for what God is to me..  I’ve been blessed with health, financial security, and material possessions…  My prayer life is tribute to a God that continues to bless me, even though I’m not worthy…. My prayer is my conversation with God... My prayer keeps me on the righteous path of the few....

I pray because… I know no other way..

After the prayer... I meditate to hear what God has to say!!

Editor - DNYC

Parable of the Sower

Gentlemen, Today I want to discuss Jesus’ parable of the sower as it relates to what you sow and the harvest you will take in.

It is clear, we are known by the fruit that we bare. If we sow bad seed we will reap a bad harvest.  In the Parable of the sower Christ spells this out in very clear terms

Matthew 13:3-8 (NIV) “Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. “

As you walk through life you will sow your seed in one of the four places that Christ lays out. So lets discuss the four places you’ll sow your seed..

• Scattered on the path for the birds to consume: In verse 4, Christ said “As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up” …. Using the vernacular and culture of today, let me break this down… When you spend your time, energy, and resources on a female who isn’t worthy “a chicken head” …. That bird will do what birds do, use them up and leave you with nothing. Her only goal in life is to consume… Thus, because she’s a consumer she’s easy to spot. The faux fashionista, the “diva”, the gold digger…. You know them by many of these pejorative names… In the end… IT IS YOU who decide that you’re going to sow your seed (waste your time) on this type of person. She is that path that nothing grows on and no one can grow with because she consumes all you have 

• Scattered on Rocky places: in verse five and six Christ says “Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root”… Gentlemen, you know this type of person as well.. Shallow, superficial, dumb as a box of rocks.. Concerned with looking good but not with being good. People who are superficial you don’t AND CAN’T see your future with. You may sow your seed by spending time with her, but that relationship will never last. You know it from the moment you meet her. She’s vapid and cannot hold a conversation. Knows nothing of current events but knows every brand name. She’s a slave to vanity… She’s the rocky place that has no depth and when your harvest comes in it will wither and die because this woman is shallow.

• Planted in Thorns: in verse Seven, Christ says “. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants”…. Gentlemen, you know this woman as well.. She’s the drama queen.. A problem around every corner. She invites drama and has a way of never letting it grow. She may be attractive to start the relationship, but her drama, issues, or baggage will not allow that relationship to grow. She chokes the relationship with her issues.. Stay away from her.. The seed you sow in her through spending time and trying to make it work will be fruitless.. you will be frustrated and at the lack of growth.. She lacks the clarity of spirit to allow anything to grow in or around her.. She will choke you out and the relationship will die.

• The good soil: Christ says in verse eight “. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”…. Gentlemen, you know this woman as well. She has a heart of gold. She checks in on you when you’re not feeling well, she is concerned about your career growth, personal development, spiritual growth and your health.. She’s not trying to burn a hole through your credit card, or date everyone of your friends, frat, or family. She may be a home body.. she may be committed to community service… she may be the woman that’s in church 3 days a week… She’s constantly enriching herself to be a compliment to your life. This is the woman you see yourself with through eternity.. She’s not perfect, she has her share of flaws, but she’s working affirmatively to correct those flaws and they don’t distract you from your walk. The fruit that you bare by sowing seed (spending time and giving your life) to this woman is a more whole existence. You may be good by yourself… but she definitely makes you better. 

Gentlemen, you have an opportunity to discern where you are going to spend your time and with whom you’ll spend it with.. This metaphoric sowing of seed will bare you fruit that is either good… or bad… Some women will deny they’re the bad seed but give it time… you’ll see exactly who they are and what they are over time.. Don’t be distracted by the bug light of her beauty, her booty or anything else that may look attractive…

Remember this… What’s good to you isn’t always good for you… Discern properly who you are going to pursue so that you’re not sowing your seed on bad soil

While I always assert that men are the pursuers and women are the pursued… Women get to choose who they want in their lives.. There’s no way around this reality… some women will deny it.. but find me any woman anywhere who doesn’t have at least one man chasing her.. whether she want’s him or not… he’s still chasing her… We as men can only discern if a woman, or any woman is worth pursuing…

Why… Because the seed you sow will eventually produce a harvest… and you must ask yourself what type of seed you’re going to sow…

Editor - DNYC