The Damaged Man

Gentlemen, its been some time since I’ve contributed to this blog. I want to speak to you specifically and perhaps women generally..

Today’s topic… The damaged man.. Many women assume that a bruised, hurt, or damaged man is due to some woman in his past who hurt him so deeply that he’s unable to recover.. This is simultaneously true and patently false

The fallacy is that women like to believe that they’ve got that much power or control over a man to “break him” or damage him for all other future women.. In reality, women do have much power over men..  but not that much!!!

Almost everything that a man is and everything he does is to attract and keep a woman.. Men are in a primal tug of war for the best women to progenerate their name and likeness to another generation… Men cut their hair, exercise, purchase nice cars and homes… men buy cologne for among many reasons to attract women…. Men love and protect their daughters, but are extremely happy and proud of their sons.. Most sons end up pursuing careers very similar to their dads… (not sperm donors)… DADS….

The bruised man is more times than not incapable of having a mature secure relationship. Something happened in his childhood or adolescence that has him hurt… Perhaps it was not being physically strong, perhaps it was the lack of love or support from his parents… or… perhaps it was a woman who bruised him deeply with rejection. Whatever the reason, that man needs to spend time fixing himself. Be it therapy, spiritual/religious counseling or just self reflection... He needs to fix himself..

We see the angry, bitter, and damaged woman all the time.. why because women are expressive of their emotions… Men seem to seethe or marinate in their emotions and the damage isn’t usually revealed to women until that woman is in a relationship with that man… or considering a relationship with him… The biggest issue with men is that we’re socialized to not show emotion…. Emotion = soft… and no man wants to be seen by women as soft…

The dichotomy, when a man opens himself up and reveals his true self to his woman, there’s nothing she cannot help him heal from. Women by their very nature are nurturers. Scripturally they are help-mates…  So who’s the best candidate to open up and reveal all..

I’m not intimating that men turn into a puddle of goo for every woman… clearly some women will use and manipulate the information or emotion to control that mans every move and thought…Gentlemen, discern wisely who you will reveal what information to…. And when you’ve found that woman who can hold your heart in her hand and take care of it as if it were her own…. Then you’ve found the woman that you’re ready to spend your life with… reveal your heart and watch how she responds…

The damaged man does exist… Gentlemen, look in the mirror… and determine if it is you!!!

Namaste!
Editor - DNYC