Why???? well "just because"

Gentlemen, I’d like to take a moment to talk about “just because”…. The reasons you do things and the agenda behind why you do what you do…

A few days ago I read a blog  a few days ago that asked the question to women “are you wife material, or are you a pussy”…  The title was crude and even the way the blog was written was in a vulgar vain… I’m not a prude… but certain language as it relates to women is a little disturbing…. But I digress!!!

Here is the blog: Are you Wife Material???

Nevertheless, the blog made a legitimate point that we as men seek woman as either sexual objects to be used and cast away… OR we see women as potential wife material and spend our time, energy, and financial resources to give her our last name and honor her with the title of “wife”

My dad told me when I was 11 or 12 that there are women you date … and women you marry….  DO NOT MARRY THE WOMAN THAT YOU’D DATE… now you may be saying to yourself ….. huh!!!!  That makes no sense, because you have to date the woman that you’d marry.. READ BETWEEN THE LINES… my dad was saying exactly what this blog was saying… That there are women, that are good for sex and nothing more..… and others that you’d marry… In the simplest sense we’ve all heard the adage.. don’t make a hooker a housewife…. Or try to make a housewife a hooker..

Women roundly reject this because they’ve been socialized to believe that every one of them is special , nothing can possibly be wrong with them, and that what is between their legs is more special than the next one… or the last one… or the jump off… etc…. There are actually women who believe that they have a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, Leprechauns, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy between their legs….  Those same women wonder why they’re at home alone week in and week out…. Just sayin…

That said, every man I know or have ever known has had a relationship that only lasted 3-6mo.. and the sex was good… but making a life with her was never going to happen… Women, as the blog states, believe that he effed up , or was a dog, or whatever excuse they use to rationalize  or justify the fact that they’ve been rejected … and some women have become masters at spinning the situation to make themselves look good and the man look bad…

TRUTH IS… IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP… AND TWO PEOPLE TO MESS IT UP, SABOTAGE IT, AND MAKE WHAT WAS SO RIGHT TURN SO WRONG….

So , Gentlemen lets discuss what your agenda is with the woman that you’re seeing on a regular basis… Are you Monogamous???? Are you a serial dater (seeing multiple women simultaneously)???? Are you seeing the woman as “wife” material??? Or are you seeing her as not being in your life longer than 3-6mo???

Gentlemen, The one real way that I’ve been able to determine what a woman means to me is when I find myself doing things “just because”... logic, reason and sometimes common sense thrown out the window... there is no reason.. I do it "just because"… One of the best ways to evaluate what you mean to her likewise is when she begins doing things “just because”

The truth is gentlemen, you know the reasons you’re with her and you know what your agenda is. When you find yourself leading that woman on or having her believe she’s in a serious monogamous relationship… when in your mind, she may be nice but the reality is YOU DO NOT SEE HER AS “WIFE” for whatever reason… Then perhaps you should re-evaluate ….

Find that woman that you’ll buy flowers for “just because”…. The one that you’d show up at her job to have lunch with her “just because”… The woman that you’re losing sleep thinking about, the one who you’re skipping meals… The woman that makes you smile, challenges your intellect, feeds your spirit (NOT JUST YOUR EGO), The woman that you WANT to spend time with... the woman who's company you enjoy ... Simply put, the woman that compliments your life..

That is the woman that you’ll do it “just because”… The reality is… that’s the one that you really want…. And the second truth is… that may not be the one you’re with now!!

Question is.. what is your reason for being with her… to waste her time and yours… or is she the one you really want… and the one you’d do things for “just because”???

Only you know!!

Editor - DNYC