Dear Facebook Users

Good day Gentlemen, I have a bone to pick with many of the users on FB..  First let me say that social media is more about being social.. However many facebook users it seems wish to live their entire lives in social media forums

I cannot tell you how many birth-to-abortion relationship status’ I’ve seen on Facebook. One minute he or she is gushing all over their new boo… a few weeks later videos about hurt, pain, cheating, etc. show up…  One minute your friends are congratulating you... the next minute.. dead silence..... My personal feeling is that if a relationship is important and if you view love as sacred. Your responsibility to that relationship must be to protect… honor… and viewed as sacred… there is no need to be on front street w/ your relationship.. For one, if you have a good man/woman and you put on blast EVERYTHING… what will eventually happen after the break up, one of your “friends” will go after him/her…There are even people who deem it a requirement that you link your facebook page when you start dating them... huh???? if you know where you live in someones heart... there's no need to link facebook pages!!!!

Second, Facebook Celebrities.. I’ve seen people who deem themselves internet celebrities… meaning, they’re constantly screaming about their haters, how much money they get, etc…. The real truth is, most are nobody’s … most will never do or be anything significant… and to be quite honest, if most didn’t say a word on facebook they’d be deemed reasonably intelligent. Instead they say things that make you shake your head in disgust and you hide their status updates..... How is it possible to have haters when you’re a nobody??? And you’ll go to the grave mired in your own self aggrandizement…. Truth is people who have money, wealth, or status never speak on it….

Third, Lack of judgment, discernment… ever have your friends list poached… you friend someone and they friend everyone you’re friends with… you ever make a comment on a celebrity site and all of a sudden you have 50 friend request… You ever have people that are not of your caliber, education, or character friend you  then you read what they say and it’s pure ignorance, unreadable, poor grammar…  Ever have people comment on something that has nothing to do with them, but they’ve always got something to say..  I’m sorry that I touched a nerve, but a hit dog is always going to holler…  and when you take things personal on facebook, you are that hit dog… Just sit down and shut up... if it doesn't have anything to do with you, and your name wasn't mentioned... there's no need for you to comment...

Fourth, Angry people… I’m convinced that there are far too many angry people who spend their day on facebook venting their frustration to everyone…. They seek those to console them or affirm their feeling… THOSE PEOPLE ARE ENABLERS!!!!!!  I’ve said for some time that “its called self esteem for a reason….. and it begins with self… and your esteem has NOTHING to do with me”… I’m willing and open to dialogue with anyone about any range of issues from music, to politics, to religion and social issues.. I never take it personal… and I never de-friend someone who might say something offensive… NOW, I have had people de-friend me… But, is that my problem or their??? most times I don’t even notice, which means they were insignificant in the big picture… I cannot allow other people to have power over me, but it seems I have a way of taking power from others…. Why else would

Fifth, eHarmony…… My god would people stop using facebook as their dating portal… you’re really screwing it up for everyone else…  If you don’t have the social grace to meet people in real life, don’t hide behind a keyboard. There are too many people fronting who they really are…. Internet diva/faux fashionista…. Your azz is broke as hell…. Internet thug, pimp, playa…. Only thing you playing with is yourself…  the newly engaged, betrothed or planning wedding… ummmm clearly you’re more concerned about the wedding day… and not the day after… or the one after that…

The fact of the matter is Gentlemen, use social media how you best see fit for your life. Understand however, you may not wish to let everyone into your world. You may not want to front your whole life on the internet or pretend to be something you’re not… Facebook is social media… have fun with it… there’s no need to go in on people or get offended by what’s said…  and most of all… Have fun…

Editor - DNYC

Editorial - The Day HOPE died..

Rewind, 2008 inauguration.. A nation proud of a historic event. A people often oppressed encouraged by hope… The first Black President…

Dear Presiden Barak Obama… This is my open letter to you, and to all who might support you in 2012. We all understand that you ascended to power in the midst of a deep recession. We thank God that you were the person who’s hand was at the wheel so that the recession didn’t turn into depression.

HOWEVER, while bailing out Wall St was critical to America’s financial health. Some of those companies needed to fail. In a capitalist society no organization, no company is too large to fail. Analogous to if 200 hostages are on a plane and 3000 are in a building … you shoot down the plane. Sacrificing 200 vs allowing those 200 plus an additional 3000 to die. The goal is to not make is worse than it could have been.

Mr President, you bailed out the few, and sacrificed the many. The economy has been stagnant. Unemployment rose to 10.1% in GA, 18% among African Americans, Fuel prices continue to rise as we head into summer of 2011, and as of 05.01.2011 Five Million Homes are still under foreclosure according to banking analysts.

You campaigned on ending both wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, yet 3yrs into your presidency you’ve not ended those wars and brought troops home. NOR have you or your Justice Dept. under Eric Holder prosecuted ONE person from the previous administration for the torture and loss of America’s moral authority in the world. The young men and women of our military and their families have been stressed for 10yrs, thousands have died, and thousands more maimed... When the only death that should have happened in the last 10yrs was the one of Osama Bin Laden... Personally I would have rather him be brought to justice... that's a mute point now

While healthcare was passed, you made it mandatory for people to purchase health insurance. On the surface this is fine… However it is unconstitutional.. The federal Gov’t cannot force us to buy insurance from US healthcare or BCBS….. The policy imposed no price reduction or controls over premiums, thus allowing health insurance providers to run amuk on middle and low income families

While many of us loathed former president George W. Bush, he gave the average person two stimulus checks in 8yrs….. While your stimulus packages have gone directly to Wall St.. Our economic growth is anemic at best and yes while we are out of technical recession the pain of average people increases daily

Fuel prices increase almost daily and the middle and poor people of this nation are in pain, the domestic and international policy that bush had in place has been continued through your first term, meaning you’ve not separated yourself from the last administration. Where is the HOPE.... What happened to CHANGE???

Perhaps inauguration day 2008 was the day that hope died.  While I would love to give you the opportunity to have a second term…. It seems “we the people” are on the titanic and the only “change” we’ve seen is who’s steering us into the ice berg.

2008 there was so much hope… so much anticipation… so much joy…. It seems now the robber barons on wall street, and those in the military industrial complex have stolen that from us, and while you sit at the seat of power, You seem powerless to do anything for anyone who doesn’t have a Wall Street Address….

Editor - DNYC

Hello Fear!!!

Good Morning Gentlemen, It’s been a while since I’ve posted something to this blog. However, Let me tell you about CD that I had the opportunity to listen to

I’ve never been a Kirk Franklin fan per-se.. I’ve enjoyed a few songs that he’s made over the years, but a fan… Naaahh…  I did have a opportunity to listen to his latest CD titled Hello Fear released on 03.22.2011…

The CD has a number of good tracks, but, the song “hello fear” is the one that moved me.. You see, all of us at some time have been paralyzed by fear. Some of us have overcome that fear, some of us are still paralyzed by it.

Growing up my biggest insecurity or fear was acceptance. Being multi-racial I’ve always identified myself as a black man. However, to my peers I wasn’t black enough as defined by their very narrow understanding of what black was… The issue persist today among dark skin black folk who feel some sense of racial purity as though they’re the gate keepers for everything black? Clearly they do not understand that the African diaspora covers the globe…. Or that less than 10% of African slaves made it to America…  To my latino peers, much of their identity is based on language and because I’m not fluent in Spanish I sat on the outside there as well..  also odd because I cook Spanish food better than some of the so called “pure bloods” there??

To compensate, I played sports through junior high and high school.. Sports are the universal uniter. Everyone cheers for the high school football team, basketball, & baseball team, etc…  Yet when I finally found my place in the world, my family moved and I had to start all over again. I remember the first day In my new school having a group of five percenter’s approach me about eating a ham and cheese sandwich… Then they proceeded to try to teach me todays mathematics … how do you say uncomfortable

When I finally became comfortable, high school was over…. Nevertheless, that quest for and fear of not being accepted persisted. My inherent nature is to be introverted, thus the fear of stepping out on the ledge to make new friends or meet people paralyzed me..  I do take my time in discerning people’s character. As such, I may come off as not being the most open or friendly person. The dichotomy is that loyalty means everything to me and I’m loyal to those in my circle.

Needless to say , whatever your fear.. whatever that thing is that keeps you paralyzed, immobile or freezes you where you stand.. Take a risk.. do something that you’ve never done before. The rewards always seem to outweigh the risk..

When I got to the point in life when I realized that I really had nothing to lose, I gained more confidence in doing things that were outside of my comfort zone. Having the ability to turn and face my fear was the greatest achievement in my own personal growth..

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

Get over your fear Gentlemen

God Bless
Editor - DNYC

Control+Alternate+Delete

Good Day Gentlemen, Today I want to discuss the re-set of life .... the Alt+Ctl+Del if you will..

First let me say I love the African Diaspora, We are a rich culture and heritage that spans the globe. Our cultural contributions are enumerable in fashion, music, politics, education, science, and mathematics. We seem to have achieved in spite of what others have projected on us.. Call it prejudice, racism, hate, bias, on every level from institutional to social..

However, As great as we are as a people… we are susceptible to the same ideology and group thought, group speak, and herd mentality as others... we decry most what we loathe in ourselves....

Take the tea party.. we assume that they’re all the same b/c they seem to speak in one voice. Their issues are projected to the world as the United States most vital issues. Then they proceed to vote against their interest for politicians who pander to their base instinct and primal need.. Those who they vote for intend on bringing NO jobs to them, Have no intention of making the quality of their lives better... Yet they vote for people who pray on their angst towards others who they feel are “taking over the country” so they create bumper sticker slogans that they’re going to “take the country back”…. From whom???

African Americans do the same thing.. We cheer for the Michael Vicks , Allen Iverson and others who project this thug/hoodlum mentality because they play for our favorite sports team, or because they’re the newly christened savior of the team.. We give them 2nd….3rd… and 4th chances, never really holding them accountable for their actions or the crimes they commit…. YET, the neighborhood dope boy doesn’t get extended that same grace… The rapist doesn’t get a 2nd.. 3rd… or 4th chance… Criminality is Criminality, you cannot justify or rationalize it any other way..

We need a Re-SET… an Alt+CTL+DEL….

We need an ALTERNATE way of thinking. Our thought process has to be challenged, and the herd mentality must be rejected. If you think like a slave on the plantation then you will eventually be a slave on the plantation…. Freedom was an abstract concept for those born into slavery, until someone thought alternately and wanted to run away… Our legacy is filled with the Hatian slave revolt, to Nat Turner, to Malcolm X and the Black Panther Party… Revolutionaries who thought outside of the social paradigm..

We need CONTROL… we need to control our way of thinking, if everyone in your circle thinks the same way you do, and you’re not progressing as a group… it’s time to change your friends. When you sit around griping about gas prices and career stagnation it’s because (among other things) you’re allowing the group to think for you. Many will say, I’m not buying into the peer pressure, but your actions say otherwise…  you vote the same… you go to the same clubs… you enjoy the same movies... shop at the same stores... and live in the same neighborhoods..??? The group is controlling you, you just don’t know it..

We need to DELETE old paradigms that keep us trapped in poverty. One of the biggest social problems that affect the African American community is group thought.  We see urban centers where teachers aren’t valued b/c we don’t value education, Black Colleges and universities have NEVER consistently had alumni financial support. We know every song on Kanye, Wayne, or Diddy/Dirty money CD but our kids don’t know a math equation… Homosexuality is running rampant, women are turning other women out… perhaps due to the lack of available men…. Men are leaving prison and bringing the gay thug lifestyle back to their communities… Our sons have adopted criminality as cool, OR have become male emulations of their mothers… and our daughters have become prostitutes for a purse or a pair of shoes... OR... have rejected men, adopted a gay lifestyle... all because of the hurt inflicted by the father who wasn't there....  HIV/Aids infects more African Americans than any other group…. STOP!!!! PLEASE STOP…. Delete this paradigm… we didn’t have this foolishness 30yrs ago..

It seems that even when we know that God is the only one who can save us, we reject God… I had a conversation in the last few days about people who don’t go to church.. Inherently, I had people rationalizing THEIR CHOICES.. instead of owning the fact that they don’t go b/c someone in the church hurt them and that they don’t want to go…. Don’t be mad at God… People did that to you…and YOU made that choice not to seek God... YOU sought peoples approval... and that's the problem

In the end Gentlemen we need an Alt+Ctl+Del of our entire social paradigm. We need to change the way we think… the way we comport ourselves… and the negative actions that affect others.. We can no longer be the infection that makes our community sick.. and we can no longer stand by and be hypocritical allowing one thing from some, while decrying it in others..

Gentlemen, we must do better.. and it begins with you..

Editor

Holy Week 2011

Gentlemen, This week is holy week, Beginning with Palm Sunday and ending with Resurrection Sunday. I refuse to use the term Easter because the term and the holiday are both pagan in its origins.

Nevertheless, Little over  2011yrs ago Christ entered Jerusalem with the cheers of the crowd.. The Sanhedrin made up of Pharisees and Sadducees were threatened by this. There was a paradigm very much like today where those in power sought to maintain power. They were so bound by the law or the word of God, they couldn’t see the spirit of the law or the man who exemplified that law.

I am a Christian, A disciple of Jesus Christ, Son of God… Many do not believe this to be the case and I respect and honor all religious faiths around the world. Christ said himself,  John 10:16 (NIV)   I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”… It would be presumptuous and a bit arrogant to believe that only Christians will enter heaven… Christ will make a way for all humanity..

Gentlemen, this week being holy week, perhaps you all should take a moment to reflect on your lives.. I’m not here to castigate or criticize… nor am I here to beat you over the head with scripture… I do want each man to examine himself. Search your soul and determine if the life you’re living is made better or worse by the decisions you’ve made

Fifteen years ago, I made a decision to walk a journey with God that has proven to be fruitful and at times arduous…. I’ve asked for strength and the Lord took me through trial and test to give me a testimony…. I asked for protection and he allows me to rest in his arms… I asked for guidance and he extended his hand.. Scripture says “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matt 7:13-14 (niv)…. Fifteen years ago, I decided to walk through the narrow gate and continue that walk today..

I stand here today not because of me… but because of HE…. I AM the son of the great I AM…. I don’t let anyone define me, nor am I beholden to anyone… I know who I am, and who's I am...

It becomes kind of obvious…. Those who rely on self because they  don’t think that God is Jehovah Jireh  (provider of all their needs)… They allow the facts to dictate their faith, they do not trust God. You've heard them griping about fuel prices, unemployment or the economy... they've placed their treasures on earth, not on things eternal.... Contrast, Those who rely on God to sustain them are sustained by the God who honors worship… blesses faithfulness, and desires his people to seek his face… Those who trust God for their needs, need nothing.... The prayers of the righteous availeth much in the lord.... Who are you praying to... who are you trusting... you are you believing to make things right.... There's only one who loves you... He sent his son to die on a cross for you, why do you reject him...

I had a friend say to me a year or so ago that God’s favor is on your life. Such statements humble me… My walk requires me to seek Gods face… My walk requires me to live for his approval… I’m blessed not because of who I AM, but because of who I worship

2011yrs ago the Son of God hung on a cross and poured out his blood to wash away my sin.. I cannot nor will not say that I’m perfect, but my goal in life is to face my judgment with my Heavenly father saying “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness”… Matt 25:23 (NIV)

Gentlemen, each one of you will have different challenges, trials, and tribulations.. But when you decide to make a walk with God, he will provide for you, sustain you, humble you and bless you…

In the end, I’m grateful for the sacrifice on the cross.. I walk this walk because one man who was blameless sacrificed all for me to live...... That's real..

So I live… God Bless you

Namaste - Editor

What do you value??

Gentlemen,  I wish to take a moment to talk to you about what you value, what you hold near and dear, what you think is important…

Matt 6:19-21 (NIV) -  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”

So, What do you treasure.. Let me be first to say I love my life… I’ve been blessed to have three children, an modest yet comfortable home, My career is going well as is my personal life.

However, what I value, what I treasure… is my relationship with GOD first. I spend a great deal of time humbling myself to the lord thanking him for his blessings and for keeping me with a roof over my head, food in my pantry, and clothing on my back… I treasure the lives of my children and those I love as well as those who love me…. I made a commitment some time back to take one weekend a month to focus on what I value as being sacred, the anomaly is that it's so valuable that it's priceless..

I appreciate friends, but I know that friends are flighty.. and that everyone in your circle isn’t necessarily considering your best interest.. I keep a very tight circle of friends, those I can rely on and those who can rely on me… I’m somewhat unique in that I actually either know or have met 90% of my facebook friends.

What I also value is my time… I'm quick to tell my friends and enemies alike "don't wear your watch around me, because I take time". If I value you, I will carve out time for you and not rush through to the next thing...… Conversely I loathe having my time wasted. As a business person and an entrepreneur, I realize that time is a commodity. I’m not giving away anything, nor am I a non profit… I don’t do things very often on “the hook up”… Time is my most precious commodity because I understand the value of time… Culture club said in a song “time wont give me time… and time makes lovers feel, like they got something real… but you and me both know they’ve got nothing but time!!!!”…. That is the point… we’ve got really nothing but time… so don’t waste mine..

I value quality.. some say I can be a little bourgeoisie, but I work hard and I believe that one should enjoy the fruits of their labor. This weekend I had the opportunity to spend some time at Chateau Elan Winery and Resort in North GA.

It was certainly an experience and I had a great time… The staff at the hotel from the time you walk in is ready to cater to your every need. I typically frequent the spa to get a deep tissue massage.. this is therapeutic for my body and it helps to work out the kinks in my shoulder following a motorcycle accident in 2008…

The meals are typically very good, I’ve eaten at the Versailles Restaurant, and Café Elan. The entire experience is top notch top to bottom..

I value quiet time, a good book on Sunday afternoon, the NY Times or Atlanta Constitution, an afternoon Baseball game… That quiet time helps me to restore my mind, refresh my spirit , and dig into my intellect. I do a great deal of reading and it has become very much a passion for me..  Quiet time for me believe it or not is also found in jumping on my motorcycle and burning up 2 or 3 tanks of gas… Riding is a freedom, a release… some play golf.. some bowl… some play tennis… I ride…. Sometimes at speed limit… other times at 100 plus miles per hour…. But riding is freedom….

Gentlemen, while this is my story.. I really want to encourage you to take time to assess what you value.. Place God first, then your family…. Then take time to prioritize what you think is valuable.. Give it adequate time to mature, then nurture it so that your family and your God will get a more whole you…

As men we have competing pressures vying for our time and attention… But if you don’t take the time to relax, release and refresh… what good are you to anyone…. Find what you value… and pursue that…

Special thank you to the staff at Chateau Elan Winery & Resort for a wonderful weekend...

Visit them at http://www.chateauelan.com

Namaste… Peace….
Editor - DNYC

Come and talk to me

Gentlemen, We’ve all heard at one time or another “we need to talk.”

Today I’m going to keep it real short and simple…. You were given two ears, and one mouth for a reason. So that you do twice as much listening as you do talking

Statistics show that women use 7000 words per day and men about 2000 words a day.. What that means is that when women (or your woman) says she wants to talk… what she’s really saying is she wants you to listen..

So, listen.. don’t say anything, don’t get offended, don’t allow her to push your emotional buttons, don’t get heated, don’t try to find solutions, don’t do anything but listen.

Unless you are asked a question directly, Say nothing and let her vent her frustration or elucidate what she’s feeling.. your role is to be a support system, a sounding board..

This may go against your nature as a problem solver or solution man… but that’s not what she’s asking for..

We always hear men telling women to STFU… Rarely do we as men understand that you can create peace in your home by just taking the time to listen. If you care, you will…  and it’s really that simple..

Flip side… Women, please.. I implore you, don’t hit your man with everyone else’s drama… The relationship is between you and him… Not you.. him.. your girl, her man , your co-workers… etc.. etc… etc……. He doesn’t care about your girlfriends drama with  her children… or her man problems… Unless it affect you directly, harms your emotional or professional growth, your co-workers issues and drama shouldn’t be brought into your relationship….

Bottom line, He’s not your girlfriend… don’t treat him as such… Have a girls night out and gossip… but even in that… keep your relationship w/ your man out of your conversation w/ your female friends…

The relationship between you and her , her and you should be sacred.. no one or nothing should come between you…. The choice is yours…  But if you choose to sabotage your relationship… That’s your choice…..

Communication is key to a healthy relationship…. Remember that

Namaste
EDITOR - DNYC