The other day, I received a message on the Year of the Gentleman / Return of the Gentleman facebook group asking, “where are the pictures of the men suited up??”
My response was very simple and I thought everyone understood the purpose of our mission. While I agree that clothing makes the man and how a man dresses often reflects how he thinks or what he believes about himself. Clothing alone isn't going to make a Gentleman!!!
I was a little distressed that this woman was trying to define what a gentleman was. With each response she had a counter argument. With each explanation she stated those explanations were excuses... Too often we hear from women that we don't treat them well... is a good suit going to make that man treat you any better???? I think not!!!!
I am a firm proponent of this mission of Dressing 3 times a week … However, that is only one part of being a Gentlemen. Fact is, etiquette, grooming, mental health, spiritual heath, and physical health all goes hand in hand to create the complete man and by extension a Gentleman.
The odd thing about the Return of the Gentleman facebook group is that each time the focus shifts toward fashion or style alone… some one is there to put on the brakes and make it clear that a gentleman is more than just clothing.
The reality is while clothing makes the man, it doesn’t make the Gentleman. The saying that one can put lipstick on a pig…. And it’s still a pig… I have no issue with promoting the challenge that removes this mindset of hip hop or athletic gear be the status quo. However, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT CLOTHING ALONE WILL RESOLVE A CHARACTER FLAW.
Gentlemen, what we are attempting to do here is create a mindset to promote the complete man. While I respect the Pretty Girls Rock Dress Up Challenge, with all respect due... by their name alone it is a dress up challenge… The Return of the Gentleman challenge at the end of the day is much more than dressing up.
With all respect due to the woman who took umbrage at the fact that there weren’t pictures posted of men suited and booted on 03.01.11…. for too long we’ve had women telling us how to be men and how to be Gentlemen..We will take suggestions and are open to what women desire, it’s men who have to hold other men accountable.
In the end, what good is a well dressed man if he’s not spiritually accountable…. or unwilling to take responsibility for his family, children or community.
Gentlemen… I want you to post pictures of yourselves looking good…. But I also want to see you post pictures of being Good fathers, responsible community citizens, and good people….
In the end… Clothing may in fact make the man…. But it may not necessarily make the Gentleman….
Editor – DNYC
well said!!!
ReplyDeleteI am, "the woman" who made the comment about the pictures....
ReplyDeleteand I still feel that the two go hand and hand. If the guys don't even want to participate in the part of the challenge that talks about dressing the part and the physical style, what would make me believe that they are putting any effort towards fixing their character? You don't even wanna fix your clothes, so what is going to motivate you to fix your attitude, some article on a blog or Facebook page? I think NOT!? The rules of the challenge specifically say to do both, dress up AND act right. So, by no means am I telling any man, how to be a man or a gentlemen, yet I'm wondering why the members of the Gentlemen challenge seem lees enthusiastic and the admin finds it less important to encourage members to follow the COMPLETE rules of the challenge, including, "Take Pics, & lets show the ladies that we can be.. Gentlemen". Your challenge is also titled, "The Year of the Gentlemen - Return of the Gentleman
"DRESS-UP" Challenge" DRESS UP is in your title as well! While you are trying to be a better man on the inside, you can (and as rules #1 & #2 of the challenge states) still practice looking like one. Dressing up in a suit may not make a man treat me better, however, seeing himself in the suit may indeed make him treat himself better and shows he's at least trying to participate in this challenge. Seeing himself, cleaned up on the outside, may prompt him to really do some inner clean-up, or maybe further outside cleanup with manicure, pedicure, etc. I promoted this challenge on my blog and to others on Facebook, so I expected the rules to be followed, if you're not going to follow your own rules, change them to better reflect your mission.
Well in the mission statement the men pledged to share their experiences and post pics throughtout the challenge.........kanye shrug.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a personal challenge but if I don't see you all out and about how will I know if you are staying true to the challenge?
POST A PIC!!!!!
Editorial Note.... I NEVER indicated or implied that the Gentlemen shouldn't follow the rules of the challenge.. While all opinions are appreciated and respected... I cannot explain why some of my brethren were less than enthusiastic about this challenge... Nor will I dwell on it.... those like the editor (me) dress daily... perhaps it is due time to modify the mission of the challenge to better reflect the whole man.... All I can say ladies is give the men some time.. .they may surprise you...
ReplyDelete"talks about dressing the part and the physical style, what would make me believe that they are putting any effort towards fixing their character? "
ReplyDeletewtf?????? how is it possible to equate the 2??????/ 2 very different things.... you sound like you just need someone to pay attention to you......
"You don't even wanna fix your clothes, so what is going to motivate you to fix your attitude, ...."
againwtf?????? how is it possible to equate the 2??????/ 2 very different things.... you sound like you just need someone to pay attention to you......
this is the INTERNET.......................... a medium that most people use in their spare time...... we are not obligated by"rules"...... no one made you a promise to do shit.... this is incredible... get a life asap!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePerhaps for us women, attire is the catalyst to change and for men it is a sign that change has occured. Either way, if the goals of all are shared (self improvement) is the procedure worthy of harsh criticsm? I personally would rather my man wear his cap and Jets shirt and treat me like a queen and appreciate me in my dress than for him to get suited up and treat me like crap...if a choice must be made, I choose a!
ReplyDelete