Valentines Day
Good Day Gentlemen, Today I want to take a moment to discuss Valentines Day.
Some dread it, some look forward to it, some think its over commercialized, some think it’s the best day ever. The expectations of Valentines Day leaves some men scrambling at the last minute to create a special moment for the women in their lives.
However, there in lies the problem….. All of the valentines day commercials from jewelers, card manufacturers, etc puts the onus on men. Ask your women to go out and look for something special for you, just for grins… no major department store, drug store or grocery store carries anything for men. What seems to be implied is that if you buy her candy and flowers.. She will give you sex?? How else would you explain it???
Women who are creative and really care about the men in their lives try to make a moment for the men in their lives. For men it’s perhaps not about the sentimental but the effort. A hot bath, a good meal, flowers sent to the office, or even a surprise lunch date may be enough to make the day special for a man… We don’t need a lot, but we’d like to know that someone is thinking about us.
Now, That being said, lets discuss the other 364 DAYS out of the year. So much emphasis is put on one day that it makes one wonder… what happens on the 15th.. or the 16th of Feb???? When we put all the emphasis on one day, we often times forget about the rest of the year. For love to grow and flourish we have to put in the work the rest of the year.
Gentlemen, lets be clear.... As we continue to change not only our actions and apparel, lets be mindful of our thoughts. Love is an action… you must choose to love someone. The woman that you chose to love you must be determined to put in some work. You must give her the daily expressions of how you feel and what you think about her. Maybe it means coming home and making her a hot bath w/ rose pedals, maybe it means giving her a hot oil massage, or maybe it means picking up after the kids and doing the laundry. Whatever the case speak her love language. Make her feel special. Give her all of you and sacrifice nothing for her.
We often hear men say “I’ll die for that woman”… how about LIVING FOR HER???? You’re no good to anyone dead and she needs you here. In living for her you must become selfless in what you do and how you do it.
Relationships are NOT mono-directional… nor is it about the give/take… Love,… real love is give/give… it is a selfless acts by selfless people… When you find yourself taking or expecting someone to give?? You should really question your position in that relationship
So as you head into your valentines day… Gentlemen, try to create that impact moment for her. You’ve had since Feb 15th 2010 to think about it… Because really, if you find yourself at the local supermarket, or Costco, or sams club, or a supermarket buying a last minute on the way home from work gift… you failed!!! So don’t be surprised if on Feb 15th 2011 some other man makes her smile or brings a tear to her eye because he thought enough about her to DO SOMETHING!!!..
Remember Gentlemen, Love is an ACTION!!!!
Editor -DNYC
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